The struggle is real: finding a bathing suit!

    It's always find it ironic how we dress all year long to cover ourselves often in streamlined looks to glide and hide any figure flaws and on the first hot day, we unpeel it all in the torturous, dreaded bathing suit.  I'm often surprised how my body hibernates and conspires deceivingly under my tailored layers from fall to late Spring never giving me the slightest hint that the body that I last saw in a bathing suit, isn't the same one that has emerged when I go to try on a new one.

    Here are my survival tips for trying on a bathing suit in the horrific fluorescent lighting of dressing rooms that seem to shine strobes on every wrinkle, line and bump...on the body!  First, turn away from the mirrors while disrobing and until the suit is actually on. Secondly, be like a trapeze artist and NEVER LOOK DOWN, again, until the suit is on!  Then, once pasted to your body, slowly visually scan and stand as tall as you can, of course holding in your stomach and not breathing. *Breathing in and out can add five pounds!  If you do not let out a blood curdling scream once you see the suit on; consider it a contender!  

    Above all else, remember you are fabulous and while your butt and boobs may not be in same place as last bathing suit season, neither is your brain and you are better for it!  And if that doesn't work, go home, pour a class of wine and eat a piece of cheesecake!

#funnywomenblog #forwomenonlyhumor #funnybathingsuit #bathingsuithell #tryingonbathingsuits #humorforwomen #funnywomengreeting cards

 

 

Smile even though your feet are killin' ya is my Vanity way of saying, we all have stuff we have to get through and you might as well smile through it!  I the expression, "Fake it until you make it!"  I think it holds true if you smile through a bad mood, before you know it, the bad mood is gone...and there's also nothin' wrong with wearing a fab' pair of shoes in any life crisis... It's got to be good for your sole... Don't you think?


This image can be found in my Etsy Vanity Gallery and like all my reasonably priced prints, it comes in a simple white matte which makes it easy for framing in a standard 8x10 frame!

What's on your mind/ fab' and funny woman humor for YOU!

When people ask where do I get ideas for my art, honestly, it's almost always from looking in the mirror (at this ever eroding face).  With Vanity as the nucleus of my woman-to-woman humor for my greeting cards or the prints in my Etsy Vanity Gallery, the ideas are almost always from something that has to do with my daily routine of puttin' on the fabulousness!  I know, I know, being fabulous comes from the inside, blah, blah, blah, but for me, it also comes from decorating the outside with requisite lipstick, powder and pearls!

So instead of looking into the mirror for a humor idea, what would YOU like to see in the form of a Vanity humor; what subject is on your mind?  Whether you are thinking of shopping, shoes, chocolate, good hair or bad hair days, yoga or wha'ever... leave a comment or email me and I'll see what I can come up with!

Until then, air kisses from the bottom of my fabbity fab' heart!

Think Pink - Monday Morning Blues

I can't say I feel the Monday blues but if I did, I would make certain I was properly accessorized with let's say a neck wrap that would play up the color!  Do YOU feel Monday morning blues and if so. I wonder if ya' thinked' pink, would it be better????

Vanity Prints

Vanity Prints as bauwthroom art!  Love it!

So my younger sister took a collection of my prints (of which many are available in my still new Vanity Gallery Etsy store and my VanityCases on-line store) and hung them in Dollar Store frames.  I think they make for a very fabulous bauwthroom collection!  

Hhmmm.  I really should bump some of the collections of my kiddo's art and replace with mine!  But then again, there's something about seeing their little lines, colors and text that makes my heart happy!  Okay, we need more wall space, okay, we need more walls... okay!