Thursday, March 12, 2020

Accessory Activist!

I'm an accessory activist because I truly believe they can empower every person to their highest level of fabulousness!  I mean really, who doesn't look more fab' with a few strands of pearls, whether the pearls are tiny or bubble gum size or an arm full of bangles!  And who is to say, that a feather boa won't complete a given outfit!  

There is this age-old fashion rule to look at one's self in a mirror once dressed and take one thing off... Well, Honey, I look in the mirror and add one or two or three more things!  Accessories give me life!  So go out and have a race to the elbow with bracelets, wrap a scarf on your hips or tie it on your purse!  And just as one can't imagine going out without mascara, never, I mean never go out without earrings.   It's all about feeling your highest level of your fabulous self! ! !   I'll have this posted soon as a card in my EtsyVanityGallery, but until then, Air kisses and accessory wishes until the next post!

Thursday, June 27, 2019

Poor wine judgement...Pour judgement!

Poor judgement is not a bad thing...Hi'cup... I mean pour judgement!  To the top please!

A good friend knows when it's a good time to exercise "Pour Judgement!"  What's wrong with a full glass of wine after a long day and especially if shared with a good friend?!  Shouldn't it be mandatory?  I'm not saying one had to drink wine to be able to have a good time, but for sure it's a refreshing choice with a fresh friend!   Don't you think?!

To see more VanityCases humor, come on by TheVanityGallery!  FREE CARD with any order, even a single card.. When in my Vanity Gallery, just click contact seller and let me know which one you would like!

Suddenly it's summer ... take it off!

I simply die how most of us artfully use clothes to cover our figure flaws all year long and on the first hot, summer, beach or pool day, we "take it all off," to bare almost all!  I put on my suit this year and thought, where in the world did the body go that I had last year, cuz' this one is slightly different...slightly eroded!  But that happens every year!

In preparing for the sun, I add just enough fake tan lotion to cut-the-glare of my very fair skin... I don't want my arms and gams to reflect light and possibly blind someone!

For me, a bathing suit is without question the biggest aide to dropping pounds!  The last thing that I personally want to do when I'm "in-suit" is to eat!  So while I curse my daughters on the one hand to wanting to go to the pool, I am thankful that my suit keeps me focused on my food intake ... or lack thereof while I'm in it!

And no, that is not an interpretation of moi in the drawing!

Happy Summer!
PS... I'll likely create Tilly as a character to be featured on one of my VanityCasesGreetingCards which can be seen mostly here:  TheVanityGallery!

Tuesday, January 22, 2019

Eat the icing first! YOLO!

YOLO! ! ! 

Oh for Gad sake, eat the cupcake and don't count the calories!  YOLO!  I love that abbreviation for You Only Live Once!  Now this is not to say you can do any ol' thing you want and call out YOLO and think it's mighty fine, but there are times when dang, ya' just want to eat the icing!

YOLO is also a great mantra when you are a bit hesitant to try something new!  Instead of fearing a change step up-to-the plate and say, YOLO!  Or, if you are one of those people who are tough on themselves and never give yourself a break, relax, indulge and celebrate with  YOLO chant!

As for me, when something is a little scary, I think what's the worst that can happen and I walk forward, of course with red lipstick, powder and pearls say YOLO - so do it!

That's my thought for today...air kisses and accessory wishes until the next observation!

Oh, and if you'd like to see some new women humor cards click on over to TheVanityGallery or my website,

Monday, January 14, 2019

Is it a bad thing to tell someone to bug off?

Really, think about it, what might be some advice you would give your younger self?  I think I would have told select people to "Bug Off!"  Ok, perhaps I'm using the words "Bug Off," where there might be stronger words, but you get it!  It takes getting older, or as I like to call it, "evolving" to know that when people are not adding to your life, move on from them! I truly believe, "Bug Off," can be communicated without ever being mean or using a curse word! 

Fabulous always finds fabulous so everyday, be kind, make your bed, find something to laugh about and always, but always wear a little red lipstick!  And if it needs to be done, if someone doesn't get the fabulousness in you, tell them to "Bug Off!"  And like my Mother always taught me, even after you give someone a piece of your mind, in a nice way, conclude with saying thank you!

Telling one another to "Bug off"  is something that is done by the "kids" on social media only it's done without exchanging words and it's called, "Ghosting."  Ghosting is of course when someone stops responding to a person on social media. It's like they are a ghost. Poof!  Gone! 

That's all well n' good for the youngins' but there are times that there is a greater satisfaction out of stating the simple and succinct message of  "Bug off"!

As always, I'll translate the image above into a fabulous birthday or friendship card and post in my Etsy shoppe:

Air kisses and accessory wishes until the next time!

Monday, December 10, 2018

Tis' the Season "Tu Tu" be fabulous!

But honestly, isn't it always the season to be fabulous?!  

And really, it doesn't take that much to be fabulous!
1, Always make one's bed
2, Always buff and polish the face with a lil' makeup!
      **I mean really, if one has time to brush their teeth, I truly believe they have time to add a little     lipstick and blush & a little mascara as well can't hurt!
3, Always add one more accessory!  I know the adage is less-is-more, but really, who believes that!

Come on by again as I'm always posting new cards, images and fun stuff on my website,!

Until then, air kisses and accessory wishes!

Monday, November 5, 2018

That feeling you get when...

I'm telling you... I'm confessing to you, that if I put on a jacket that I haven't worn in a ba'zillion years and find a few dollar bills or M&Ms in the pocket, I'm in heaven!  I don't think M&Ms have an expiration date!  Oh, and finding money is nice as well!

Do little things like this make you happy????

Of course I'll translate this into a Funny Women Humor card ... either as a birthday or coping card and post in my Etsy VanityGallery or on Ebay, where I offer my cards!

Air kisses and Accessory Wishes until the next post!/ Collene

Thursday, September 13, 2018

Audrey Hepburn said...

I do agree with what Audrey Hepburn, who I see as an icon of perfect inner and outward style said, but it's hard to argue that a lil' lipstick couldn't hurt - anyone!  

I worship at the alter of red lipstick and truly believe, it's like a button that turns a face "on!"  And further to that, I'm certain almost every woman, at every age can wear red lipstick!  Honey, I see it as more than a color and in many ways a state-of-mind!  It says, "Hello, I'm here!"

And while Miss Hepburn is right about the smile factor, which should be a resting stance for any face, I'm a believer in making extra effort to step-up one's appearance game!  Like the my characters believe in all my Women Humor greeting cards, Vanity can be one's sanity!  

Do you wear red lipstick?????

To see more Vanity Observations: VanityCasesFabbityCharacters!

Tuesday, February 27, 2018

Annoying People & Having Manners!

So, does this ever happen to you?  You are talking with, or more accurately being talked at but someone who is beyond annoying and quite frankly, usually talking about themselves and you are thinking, when is this going to end?  Or, perhaps like me, you are restraining from yelling, "SHUT UP!"

Uh huh.  Most of my cards are "lite" n' funny and rarely snarky, but this one was a great way to be able to see a little humor from getting caught in "conversational pot holes!"

The cover stands alone and says it all, but if you'd like to see how I worked this into a card click HERE!     My cards are now on EBAY! ! !   How funny is that?!

Thursday, February 1, 2018

Tabloid Heaven - What's not to love about the tabloids?!

A mind is a fabulous thing to waste and I luuuuuuve to waste mine now n' again either reading the tabs or let's say watching Bravo TV!  I consider it junk food for the brain and the up side is  -- NO CALORIES!

My fave' escape is heading to Barnes & Noble and reading the tabs... I buy enough books there to not feel guilty ... well too guilty anyway!  Unlike Eve (in my illustration and who is based on a real person I knew), I can NOT hang around in my pjs all day!  Oh No!  I am the original Vanity Case and lipstick, powder, pearls and getting dressed are what puts me into gear for the day!

The same holds true for the VanityCases that I feature on my Women Humor Greeting cards!

Well, that's my Vanity Observation for the day  -- Air Kisses and Accessory wishes until the next one!

Monday, November 6, 2017

Don't get mad; get more fabulous!

Ooooooh yes!  This is the way to go!  And here's the trick, when you are annoyed by someone, a group, wha' or whoever, you don't have to let them know that you are more Fabulous!  A fabuloulista doesn't have the need to brag or be affirmed through social media!   You'll know you're more fabulous and that's what's worth it!  And since "birds of a fabulous feather flock together," other fabbity-birds will  be attracted to your fabulousness!  Well, that's what Tiffanee, the character above says and believes!

No need to brag on Facebook and/ or social media about being fabulous...  your glitter will leave a path of being fabulous!  Oh yes, one should really keep a little glitter in their purse for such gestures!

Tiffanee's rules for getting more fab:  Throw on another strand of pearls, wear red lipstick, have a race to the elbow with bangles, tie on a fabulous scarf and add a touch of vanilla from the'll smell delish!  Most importantly, smile!   It will effect your mood, tude and confidence you exude!

Air kisses and accessory wishes until the next entry...Collene
PS... I'm soooo thinking of creating a line of Tiffanee cards for my VanityGallery on Etsy!

Monday, October 30, 2017

Fabulous Pearls of Wisdom...

Yes, I believe pearls are like fashion Prozac, they effect your mood, tude' and the confidence you exude!

And they make every single outfit more fabulous!  I can't leave the house without them on, whether around my neck or wrapped around my wrist.  Since there were times (as rare as they could be), that I left the house without them, I keep a strand or two in my purse.  Some people tuck emergency chocolate in their purse; I'm all about the pearls!

I think I'm addicted to pearls!  My Name is ColleneKennedy and I'm a "Pearl'aholic"  Hello Collene!

But I mean really, can you ever have too many strands whether real or faux and I luuuuuuve both!  And because I had to find an expression for my Pearlizing', I have about a dozen or so hanging from a light fixture or two in the house... I also have quite a few strands draped and hanging from a shower curtain...They dress up any curtain rod and hanging from hooks accessorize little spots here n' there.  I guess you are getting the picture ... I love em'!

Also, never underestimate the ability for pearls to make one look very put together.  I mean really, even if you are in a sad old t-shirt or droopy sweatshirt; think of pearls as botox that can give both a lil' lift!           PS, Here's my shameless self promotion, I just listed this Pearl Prozac Vanity card   in my EtsyVanityGallery!   

Until the next Vanity Observation Air Kisses and Accessory wishes!

Monday, October 23, 2017

I accessorize therfore I am!

Oh My Fabulistas!  How many times do I say, I'll continue to add to my blog and then next thing you know, months go by and I've added nothing!  I often say I'm chasing the time to do t, but I've decided if I have time to accessorize every single day, (and that's before I run out-the-door to drive my middle-schooler' to school), then I have time to jot a few notes!  

My other challenge is thinking, "What can I write?!"  Well, I decided to let my cards do the talking!  I mean seriously, they are my lil itty-bitty "paper-thin" books filled with observations that can serve as a coping tool for Vanity things I embrace or that drive me crazy and are inspired by looking in the mirror ... or Vanity Observations drawn from others!

As for this accessory observation post, I confess I worship at the alter of accessories!  I'm never and I mean never, without my lipstick, powder and pearls and frankly, as the Mother of a teen and 9 year old, who works from home, that's just the right amount of adornment to fool people into thinking I'm pulled together!  Whether I'm sitting in the school car-line, having a meeting with a teacher or potential customer, I'm never without decoration!

Oh Dolls, it's all smoke and mirrors!  But it's from those mirrors that I come up with my Vanity Reflections that translate into my Vanity Cases cards.  The back of my cards often say, "I learn everything I know from looking in the mirror."  Lawdy, all too recently, I'm observing erosion!  Oye and ouch... but it's further reason to accessorize!   Think about it, pearls, whether understated or bubble-gum-ball size, scarves, a race-to-the-elbows with bracelets and as much as possible, a fab bag draw the eyes to the overall picture and not the details of fine-lines!

The result is 3-fold, 1, I actually believe feeling fabulous can work from the outside - in, 2, if one has time to brush their teeth, every single day, how can one not factor a couple of more moments to decorate the outside and 3, a few items of adornment will make you look and FEEL fab!

Air kisses and accessory wishes until the next time!

Saturday, April 15, 2017

Alternate facts! Indeed!

Who knew that  Kellyanne Conway's word salad would be so in-tune with the way I think when it comes to age!  As soon as I heard her use the term "Alternate Facts," a while ago, I created this cards . . . And I don't think I was surprised that it performed well!  [read: sold!]

And personally, I don't believe one should like about their age, but rather keep it confidential because really, isn't it the truth that we are simply fabulous at any age?!  Natch!

This card can be found in my VanityGallery -  Thank you for stoping by and until the next post, Air Kisses and Accessory Wishes!   Collene

Friday, March 31, 2017

Air freshener as perfume....

So, she was wondering if she could use air freshener as perfume!  
Why not? Using common "scents" in uncommon ways can be sooOOooOooo refreshing!  And really, common sense or scents is the bases of everything isn't it?  But it's the whimsy that makes it fabulous and individual... Don't you agree!   Until the next time, air kisses and accessory wishes!
This Common Scents reflection can be seen as a Birthday Card by clicking HERE

Friday, March 17, 2017

Mid section, we are not on speaking terms!

Uh huh, it's that time of year when I realize, I've got nothing to wear!  Oh I might be dressed and I might even fool you that I'm put-together with the magic of Lipstick, powder & pearls and decent hair but in working from home, I'm down to the point where I have NOTHING to wear!  When I left the "real world," and my last fabbity PR job, I luuuuved casual Friday and that's how I modeled my "at home" attire.  But dang, over the last many years, what was once my polished Friday wardrobe has evolved into worn down threads that would be fit to wear if I was going to paint a room!

So that being said, I headed out for the "hunt," to find something that would update my wardrobe uniform of skinny jeans, khakis a few over sized sweaters and boots.  (Very mindless to pull together in the morning dark when I'm getting my kiddos off to school)  Upon entering the dressing room and trying on clothes, what a shock to see that my mid-section has "fluffed" a bit over the winter! Fluffed is my term for FAT!

I HATE dressing rooms!  Why in God's name do they have fluorescent lighting!  I make it a point to not look in the full length mirror until I have my potential new item on!  Why torture myself?  I'm only going to console by stopping at the mall food-court on the way out and therein lies the catch 22!
This is the Vanity Cases card my Real Life Vanity experience inspired:  VanityGallery DressingRoom

Monday, February 27, 2017

The [staying] Power of Lipstick!

Ok, to know me is to know, I don't so much as go to the bus stop with my kids without LIPSTICK, (powder and pearls)!  It's like brushing my teeth; it's just something I do the same way someone puts on a pair of shoes every morning.  And when applied in a way that I've done for years, the color (of course red) stays on through the day and/ or meals with minimal touch ups!

Here's what I do to keep lipstick lasting a whole day...
  1. I first outline lips with a matching red pencil... I overdraw, but natch', that's optional!  
  2. I fill in - but not too heavily, with one of those lipsticks that are sold as a stain on one end and clear gloss on another end... Almost every drugstore line offers... I usually use a Cover Girl red.
  3. After letting the stain dry for a moment, I make a big smile and lightly smooth over my choice of RED long wear lipstick... Like there's any other color?!  
  4. Maybe I'll rub it down a bit ...but not always -  That's it!
  5. And the best way to get the stain off is of course with a make up remover ... or olive oil...which I also use as my face serum.  Uhm, I would take a bath in olive oil if I could!
That's it ...Because like my card says, Lipstick is like a bra for the face...It gives a lil' lift to what's already there!

Air kisses and accessory wishes until the next post!

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Us women can do a millionty things at one time!

Not only can most of us women balance doing a millionty things at one time, this women does it all always, but always with lipstick, powder and pearls!

That's right, whether cleaning the kitchen, doing [endless] loads of laundry,  creating women humor art for licensing contracts or my VanityGallery store, or trying to help my second grader with Singapore math ... for which the only math that it encourages me to do is count down to a glass of wine, it's all about the lipstick, powder n' pearls!  It's like a mirage that gives a reflection of everything being quite together ... at least on the outside!

Think of these essentials like the outside of a closed closet door; nice, looks organized and streamlined ... but once you open, it's quite possible that all will spill out... but at least as you walked by it all looked put together!

And did you know in balancing a million things, it's proven and primal that women are able to concentrate on more than one conversation at one time?!  More on this in another Fab'log entry!

In the meantime, aren't we amazing!

Until the next entry, air kisses and accessory wishes!  Collene Kennedy

Monday, January 2, 2017

Happy Vanity New Year! 2017 -- Vanity All Year Long ...

Sooo, yup, this is a real-life observation and one that will at some point work its way into one of my women humor greeting cards but in the meantime, this is what I pray for in 2017!

As it is, I clean my own house, scrub my own toilets, empty the dishwasher, do laundry, etc., etc., while balancing my art business in my home-studio while the Jellybeans are in school -- which is not long enough!

And to know me is to know I actually do all of the above complete with lipstick, powder and pearls!  That's right, whether chasing dust clouds with a Swifter or working on an art deadline for either my VanityGallery Etsy store or a licensing client, or even dropping the kids to the bus stop and/ or school in the early morn', I believe in being kind to people...therefore I wear make up and accessorize from almost the moment I wake up until I peel the essentials off!

Makes' ya' feel fabulous and fools people that one is actually pulled together!

Air kissess and accessory wishes until the next post!

Thursday, December 1, 2016

Resting Wine Face

So I've always been aware of the term"resting bitch face," but not "resting wine face.  Well, of the two, I think I'd rather be accused of the Wine-Face!  But having dropped wine during the week, as well as the easiest pounds ever...guess I was sipping more than I thought; I maintain I must fill the void of wine on the weekends in the name of "humor research" for my women humor greeting cards!

And by-the-by, when my husband asked what is resting-bitch-face anyway, I gave him a look that illustrated the adage.  Oye!  Naturally, the term worked itself into a Vanity Card, of which I like to think of the cards as itty-bitty books of Vanity Observations and life lessons!

So needless to say, I discovered I didn't coin the term but just the same, it's my new favorite!

Cheers and accessory wishes and air kisses until the next Vanity Observation!

PS...If you'd like to see more Vanity Observations come on by the VanityGallery!

Friday, October 28, 2016

I hate when botox wears off... Funny Botox Birthday card and thoughts on "toxing!"

I hate when my botox wears off...Because then people will know when I don't like them... (Well, only some people!)

Vanity observation:  If you sprayed your forehead with "extra, extra hold hairspray, would it have the same effect as botox?  Just a Vanity thought!

Anywho, I'm busy as a bee creating funny women humor cards for my VanityGallery available to purchase by mail or by instant download!  How great is that?  You purchase the card then zippity-zip, the file is emailed to your computer and you follow easy, lemon-squeezey directions to print and you have the card in your hands in mere moments!

Anyway... would jot down more but I'm going to check and see if I have any extra hold hairspray!

Until the next post,
Air Kisses and Accessory wishes!

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Should Goldie Hawn Cut her Hair?!

I'll call this entry the Celebrity Vanity Report.  With a line of greeting cards entitled Vanity Cases, where the credo of my "veddy" sofistikated characters is, "Who cares how you feel on the inside as long as you look fabulous on the outside?!" -- why wouldn't I also share Vanity observations about my favorite fat-free vice; celebs and their images!!!!

I'm going to share a subject to which I confess, I've given far more energy, thought and contemplation than it likely deserves; hair and in particular, Goldie Hawn's hair!

Now I think most women can agree when it comes to having a "Good Hair Day," it can give one the inexplicable feeling of being invincible!  I often say, never underestimate the super-power of a woman on a Good Hair Day.  When all your follicles fall perfectly into place and it translates into a Good Hair Day, you can truly feel like they can rule the world ... or at least run your own while feeling fabulous!

And when it comes to hair, styles can be big or small, color can be natural or electric, texture smooth, curly or wild frizz n' fro's. but, the one rule, in my lil' ol' personal vanity opinion is that when it comes to length, after a certain age, women shouldn't have hair much past their shoulders.  That certain age is 12.  Okay, I know, I know, there are exceptions so I'll go as high as 19.  And of course there's the singular exception of long hair on a woman of age and that's Cher.  But then again, Cher is pretty much the exception to almost every Vanity rule because....because she's, well, ah',  CHER!

So this brings me back to Goldie Hawn.  Holding on to one's locks can be the equivalent of trying to hold on to youthful looks in almost freeze-dried kind of way.  Think Goldie.  It seems she's worn her long, bed-head, falling-in-her-face  disheveled style for umpteen years... and for whatever reason that has bugged me and frankly, more than it should! But, I think there's a certain age when messy sexy should evolve into a little more trim, loose and layered -- which is still quite fabulous but age appropriate without being aging. Do ya' know what I mean?

The trap of holding on to a style from one's youth, without modifying it over decades can look like a person is trying to hold on to a moment in time that has long passed.  Think Bette Davis in "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?"  It was just plain scary; Baby Jane's ringlet hair style, let alone clothes way too young for her age gave her that frightening picture of trying to hold on with white knuckles to a decaying youthful look from her past.  I maintain if Jane had a smooth chignon, subtle make-up, sans the heart-shaped mole that she drew on her cheek, she would have looked quite upscale.

Now the thing about Goldie Hawn, who is fabulous at 70, is she's vibrant and vital at any age and much "bigger than her hair."  I get that and have great admiration for her devotion to imparting the importance of meditating for children and the Buddhist practice for them of being mindful/ present.   From what I've read, she's trying to make meditation part of school curriculums.  I love that!  In espousing a practice that is thousands of years old she's forging a very modern idea for a younger generation.  She personifies being a modern women and as such I think she should embrace her whimsical personal style BUT without the being date-stamped with hair from her twenties.

Goldie seems to forever balance being adorable with being smart and I'm just sayin' a lil' modifying of the hair  [I think] would only make her look more fabulous for her age -- without aging her.  I think she would be Pure Goldie with a style that's a little trimmed and cleaner that enhances her her age without mocking it.

Again, this is all just my lil' ol' opinion and for whatever reason, something many of the characters on my cards have talked to me about so I felt compelled to share!

For more Vanity observations in the form of my women humor greeting cards come on by my 
On-Line Vanity Gallery Shoppe

Tuesday, June 7, 2016

Past prime and didn't even know when I was in it?!

Edna says, "It's awful to be past your prime... especially when you didn't even know when you were in it!"

To me, that means revel in the moment no matter where you are on the chronological journey!  Edna was a "star" on my greeting cards and I really think she deserves to shine again! I actually don't think she ever thinks she's NOT shining!

Edna is a uniform dresser and never without her red lipstick and one of her hundreds of turbans!  What's not to love about that?!

Until the next post/ Air kisses from Collene 

Wear Red Lipstick and carry on...

Ooooh, summer is almost here and soooo many things to balance before kiddos get out of school and then the challenge of managing their days without hovering all over em'!  Oye!  Of course during this season I get less work done but in the end, I breath, smear the perfect shade of red lipstick on, make lists for the day and then carry on!  

It all comes down to the lipstick doesn't it!  Gives one the impression of being pulled together!

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Ohmmm my - Lose 5 pounds in under 5 seconds --

Ohmmm my - Lose 5 pounds in under 5 seconds -- without cutting a single calorie! Stretching is as key to staying in shape as good hair is to staying in a good mind set!  My Loves, with good posture; think long-neck, shoulders-back and tushy slightly tucked in, you’ll lose 5 pounds - in an instant - visually!  What could be more fab’ than that?!
It’s all about long lines which, can also be achieved through Yoga.  The only time I have for yoga these days is the time it takes to microwave water for my morning tea!  In that time, I use the kitchen counter as a ballet bar, I stretch, breath, then stand tall and lose my five pounds!
Ga’ head, do it and and lose it!

Never underestimate the power of a pink feather boa!