Wednesday, January 17, 2024

Some people need coffee, I need lipstick!

It's color, not caffeine that I need!  Lipstick is not only the switch that turns my face on, it's the component that makes me, ME!  And when it comes to lipstick, in my lil' ol' opinion, red is the only color.  It truly gives me life!  Since I overdraw my lip line it's also my first creative endeavor of the day.  I think red lipstick is to the face, what pearls are to a black dress; always classic and always works!

Over the years I've perfected different formulas and favored different brands and for certain have used "Lipstick Life Lines," in my funny women greeting card humor.  I have found a way to keep my red on from first application in the morning until the end of a long day, with only a slight topcoat touch up.    Red lipstick is as natural to me as mascara might be to someone else.  

I also believe truly anyone can wear red as long as they can "own" it!  There's a shade for anyone even if I can only imagine a vivid red for myself.  It's very empowering and completes any face transforming it with a timeless style.  I mean really, who wouldn't look fab' with a face ensemble of red lipstick, sunglasses, and perhaps a bit of powder.  Oh and the lipstick can also be used as blush with a wee smudge on the cheeks.  

So while some people may need coffee to start their day for me it's red lipstick that gives me energy and a certain fabulous quotient!

On another note, if you'd like to see the lipstick shade I use check out my latest tiktok here:




 

Tuesday, August 22, 2023

That stage where one thinks that everyone their age looks older than they do!

    Has this happened to you?  You're watching television or reading and the age of someone is shared and you think, "Gad', that's old!"  Or you see someone who might even brag about their age but upon your observation, you think, "Gad, that's old!"  Then.  Then you realize Dear Lawd', that's the same age that you are?!  

    I'm either delusional, in denial or my greatest hope, is that I don't look my age!  But here's the deal, since I don't share my age one wouldn't know - really! I don't tell my age but I'll give you a range or a decade I'm in.  Here's why; when one shares if they're in their 30s, 40s 50s or above, they get put into a box; a "life expectation" box!  The only box I like to be associated with is a shoe box.  

    So my age like my weight is a number one could guess and likely be quite close, but I feel no need to pull it into sharp focus!  Besides, the other day I saw someone my age and thought "Gad - They are fabulous!"     

Stop on by my Etsy VanityGallery if you would like to see more #Vanitywomenhumor!  It's my thing!
 

Sunday, July 30, 2023

A day without accessorie? Wha'???

     It is one hot summer!  I'm hearing it's the hottest summer on record and therefore, in dressing everyday the aim is to be both cool on the inside and outside. There is not a day, hot or cold, that I believe one should go without accessories!  For Gad's sake, even when marinating in a pool, it's a race to the elbows with bangles for moi!  And frankly, the added benefit is that accessories draw the eye away from the bathing suit - which naturally, is often basic black.
    
    No matter the temperature, why would one NOT wear accessories?!  I truly believe they are the style seasoning that give the fashion seasoning to any look!

    *To see more accessory humor, insights or reflections I invite you to see my Vanity Cases by clicking the link.  And really, isn't it worth a moment to have a smile over Vanity Reflections?!

 

Thursday, June 29, 2023

Always Prioritize & Accessorize!

 

No matter what life throws is, this is true!  It's up to us fabulistas to know when life throws potholes in our path that's when it's more  important than ever to celebrate and decorate ourselves!  One must never doubt the power of a few baubles and beads!  Super heroes need capes, we need accessories!  Accessories can take you from a mood that is blah to Ta-Dah!  

When one is navigating through a bad hair day or a more intense situation, some people need Prozac, I need  pearls, broches, bangles and sunglasses - even on a cloudy day!  

In fact, it's those cloudy days when I think we need our sunnies [Read: Sunglasses] most!  It's when we can peek from behind them and know we are coming from a place of a fabulousness that can't be defined.  The factor can scare the ba'jeekers out of those that don't understand it, but we know, it's the fabulous quotient that can be equated with innate inner strength, that will pull us through those situations where we feel like there is little control.  We know that's the time to reflect, prioritize and accessorize - and realize we'll get to the other side at our most fabulouzzzzzzz!

PS, this is for YOU!

If you like the image of Iris Apfel, check out my #womenhumorgreetingcards in my VanityGallery!

#funnywomencards  #funnywomengreetingcards #womenhumorcards #accessoryquote #accessoryhumor #accessoryinspiration #accessoryart #irisapfelart #irisapfelillustration #collenekennedy #accessoryaddict  #fabulousinspiration #fabulousfashion

Tuesday, May 30, 2023


The struggle is real: finding a bathing suit!

    It's always find it ironic how we dress all year long to cover ourselves often in streamlined looks to glide and hide any figure flaws and on the first hot day, we unpeel it all in the torturous, dreaded bathing suit.  I'm often surprised how my body hibernates and conspires deceivingly under my tailored layers from fall to late Spring never giving me the slightest hint that the body that I last saw in a bathing suit, isn't the same one that has emerged when I go to try on a new one.

    Here are my survival tips for trying on a bathing suit in the horrific fluorescent lighting of dressing rooms that seem to shine strobes on every wrinkle, line and bump...on the body!  First, turn away from the mirrors while disrobing and until the suit is actually on. Secondly, be like a trapeze artist and NEVER LOOK DOWN, again, until the suit is on!  Then, once pasted to your body, slowly visually scan and stand as tall as you can, of course holding in your stomach and not breathing. *Breathing in and out can add five pounds!  If you do not let out a blood curdling scream once you see the suit on; consider it a contender!  

    Above all else, remember you are fabulous and while your butt and boobs may not be in same place as last bathing suit season, neither is your brain and you are better for it!  And if that doesn't work, go home, pour a class of wine and eat a piece of cheesecake!


#funnywomenblog #forwomenonlyhumor #funnybathingsuit #bathingsuithell #tryingonbathingsuits #humorforwomen #funnywomengreeting cards
 

 

Friday, April 28, 2023


We don't brag - we state facts!

Don't you just hate it when people brag about how fabulous they are when they usually aren't?!  As for us, we can't help being fabulous and that's not bragging, rather just stating a fact; r'eye'eeeeet?!  

There's a fine line between bragging or showing off and exuding confidence.  It's something fabulistas inherently have mastered. We know that confidence whispers while insecurity shouts. 

This is especially true of social media and people who feel compelled to post their every move, meal and activity online. I die at the lack of awareness of those that feel the need to beat their chests begging, "look at me, "look at me," by posting their every burp and sneeze, plated meal, daily event and all too often in the form of selfies. It's one thing to post interesting images, inspiring observations or thought-provoking ideas.  I'll take those all day every day, if they make others feel good, smile or ponder.  That's not to say one shouldn't post cute photos and such but to do it hyper frequently, to me, it's like seeing someone flailing their arms and begging for validation for their every move! 

I mean really, when you know what you've got and how fabulous you are, the most important person whose validation should want the most is YOU!   This is card in my VanityGallery on Etsy!

Thursday, March 12, 2020


Accessory Activist!

I'm an accessory activist because I truly believe they can empower every person to their highest level of fabulousness! I mean really, who doesn't look more fab' with a few strands of pearls, whether the pearls are tiny or bubble gum ball size or an arm full of bangles ir a statement brooch decorating a lapel or shoulder?  And who is to say, that a feather boa won't complete a given outfit taking it to the next level!

There is this age-old fashion rule to look at oneself in a mirror once dressed and take one thing off... Well.  Honey, I look in the mirror and add one or two or three more things!  Accessories give me life!  So go out and have a race to the elbow with bracelets and bangles, wrap a scarf on your hips or tie it on your purse, dot the arm of a sleeve with pins and never, not ever, go without earrings!  And just as one can't imagine going out without mascara, never, I mean never go out without earrings.   It's all about feeling your highest level of your fabulous self! ! !   I'll have this posted soon as a card in my EtsyVanityGallery, but until then, Air kisses and accessory wishes until the next post!

Thursday, June 27, 2019

Poor wine judgement...Pour judgement!

Poor judgement is not a bad thing...Hi'cup... I mean pour judgement!  To the top please!

A good friend knows when it's a good time to exercise "Pour Judgement!"  What's wrong with a full glass of wine after a long day and especially if shared with a good friend?!  Shouldn't it be mandatory?  I'm not saying one had to drink wine to be able to have a good time, but for sure it's a refreshing choice with a fresh friend!   Don't you think?!

To see more VanityCases humor, come on by TheVanityGallery!  FREE CARD with any order, even a single card.. When in my Vanity Gallery, just click contact seller and let me know which one you would like!

Suddenly it's summer ... take it off!

I simply die how most of us artfully use clothes to cover our figure flaws all year long and on the first hot, summer, beach or pool day, we "take it all off," to bare almost all!  I put on my suit this year and thought, where in the world did the body go that I had last year, cuz' this one is slightly different...slightly eroded!  But that happens every year!

In preparing for the sun, I add just enough fake tan lotion to cut-the-glare of my very fair skin... I don't want my arms and gams to reflect light and possibly blind someone!

For me, a bathing suit is without question the biggest aide to dropping pounds!  The last thing that I personally want to do when I'm "in-suit" is to eat!  So while I curse my daughters on the one hand to wanting to go to the pool, I am thankful that my suit keeps me focused on my food intake ... or lack thereof while I'm in it!

And no, that is not an interpretation of moi in the drawing!

Happy Summer!
PS... I'll likely create Tilly as a character to be featured on one of my VanityCasesGreetingCards which can be seen mostly here:  TheVanityGallery!

Tuesday, January 22, 2019

Eat the icing first! YOLO!

YOLO! ! ! 


Oh for Gad sake, eat the cupcake and don't count the calories!  YOLO!  I love that abbreviation for You Only Live Once!  Now this is not to say you can do any ol' thing you want and call out YOLO and think it's mighty fine, but there are times when dang, ya' just want to eat the icing!

YOLO is also a great mantra when you are a bit hesitant to try something new!  Instead of fearing a change step up-to-the plate and say, YOLO!  Or, if you are one of those people who are tough on themselves and never give yourself a break, relax, indulge and celebrate with  YOLO chant!

As for me, when something is a little scary, I think what's the worst that can happen and I walk forward, of course with red lipstick, powder and pearls say YOLO - so do it!

That's my thought for today...air kisses and accessory wishes until the next observation!
Collene

Oh, and if you'd like to see some new women humor cards click on over to TheVanityGallery or my website, TheVanityCases.com

Monday, January 14, 2019

Is it a bad thing to tell someone to bug off?

Really, think about it, what might be some advice you would give your younger self?  I think I would have told select people to "Bug Off!"  Ok, perhaps I'm using the words "Bug Off," where there might be stronger words, but you get it!  It takes getting older, or as I like to call it, "evolving" to know that when people are not adding to your life, move on from them! I truly believe, "Bug Off," can be communicated without ever being mean or using a curse word! 

Fabulous always finds fabulous so everyday, be kind, make your bed, find something to laugh about and always, but always wear a little red lipstick!  And if it needs to be done, if someone doesn't get the fabulousness in you, tell them to "Bug Off!"  And like my Mother always taught me, even after you give someone a piece of your mind, in a nice way, conclude with saying thank you!

Telling one another to "Bug off"  is something that is done by the "kids" on social media only it's done without exchanging words and it's called, "Ghosting."  Ghosting is of course when someone stops responding to a person on social media. It's like they are a ghost. Poof!  Gone! 

That's all well n' good for the youngins' but there are times that there is a greater satisfaction out of stating the simple and succinct message of  "Bug off"!

As always, I'll translate the image above into a fabulous birthday or friendship card and post in my Etsy shoppe:  VanityGallery.Etsy.com

Air kisses and accessory wishes until the next time!
Collene

Monday, December 10, 2018

Tis' the Season "Tu Tu" be fabulous!

But honestly, isn't it always the season to be fabulous?!  


And really, it doesn't take that much to be fabulous!
1, Always make one's bed
2, Always buff and polish the face with a lil' makeup!
      **I mean really, if one has time to brush their teeth, I truly believe they have time to add a little     lipstick and blush & a little mascara as well can't hurt!
3, Always add one more accessory!  I know the adage is less-is-more, but really, who believes that!


Come on by again as I'm always posting new cards, images and fun stuff on my website, TheVanityCases.com!

Until then, air kisses and accessory wishes!
Collene


Monday, November 5, 2018

That feeling you get when...

I'm telling you... I'm confessing to you, that if I put on a jacket that I haven't worn in a ba'zillion years and find a few dollar bills or M&Ms in the pocket, I'm in heaven!  I don't think M&Ms have an expiration date!  Oh, and finding money is nice as well!

Do little things like this make you happy????

Of course I'll translate this into a Funny Women Humor card ... either as a birthday or coping card and post in my Etsy VanityGallery or on Ebay, where I offer my cards!

Air kisses and Accessory Wishes until the next post!/ Collene

Thursday, September 13, 2018

Audrey Hepburn said...


I do agree with what Audrey Hepburn, who I see as an icon of perfect inner and outward style said, but it's hard to argue that a lil' lipstick couldn't hurt - anyone!  

I worship at the alter of red lipstick and truly believe, it's like a button that turns a face "on!"  And further to that, I'm certain almost every woman, at every age can wear red lipstick!  Honey, I see it as more than a color and in many ways a state-of-mind!  It says, "Hello, I'm here!"

And while Miss Hepburn is right about the smile factor, which should be a resting stance for any face, I'm a believer in making extra effort to step-up one's appearance game!  Like the my characters believe in all my Women Humor greeting cards, Vanity can be one's sanity!  

Do you wear red lipstick?????

To see more Vanity Observations: VanityCasesFabbityCharacters!

Tuesday, February 27, 2018

Annoying People & Having Manners!

So, does this ever happen to you?  You are talking with, or more accurately being talked at but someone who is beyond annoying and quite frankly, usually talking about themselves and you are thinking, when is this going to end?  Or, perhaps like me, you are restraining from yelling, "SHUT UP!"

Uh huh.  Most of my cards are "lite" n' funny and rarely snarky, but this one was a great way to be able to see a little humor from getting caught in "conversational pot holes!"

The cover stands alone and says it all, but if you'd like to see how I worked this into a card click HERE!     My cards are now on EBAY! ! !   How funny is that?!

Thursday, February 1, 2018

Tabloid Heaven - What's not to love about the tabloids?!

A mind is a fabulous thing to waste and I luuuuuuve to waste mine now n' again either reading the tabs or let's say watching Bravo TV!  I consider it junk food for the brain and the up side is  -- NO CALORIES!

My fave' escape is heading to Barnes & Noble and reading the tabs... I buy enough books there to not feel guilty ... well too guilty anyway!  Unlike Eve (in my illustration and who is based on a real person I knew), I can NOT hang around in my pjs all day!  Oh No!  I am the original Vanity Case and lipstick, powder, pearls and getting dressed are what puts me into gear for the day!

The same holds true for the VanityCases that I feature on my Women Humor Greeting cards!

Well, that's my Vanity Observation for the day  -- Air Kisses and Accessory wishes until the next one!
Collene

Monday, November 6, 2017

Don't get mad; get more fabulous!

Ooooooh yes!  This is the way to go!  And here's the trick, when you are annoyed by someone, a group, wha' or whoever, you don't have to let them know that you are more Fabulous!  A fabuloulista doesn't have the need to brag or be affirmed through social media!   You'll know you're more fabulous and that's what's worth it!  And since "birds of a fabulous feather flock together," other fabbity-birds will  be attracted to your fabulousness!  Well, that's what Tiffanee, the character above says and believes!

No need to brag on Facebook and/ or social media about being fabulous...  your glitter will leave a path of being fabulous!  Oh yes, one should really keep a little glitter in their purse for such gestures!

Tiffanee's rules for getting more fab:  Throw on another strand of pearls, wear red lipstick, have a race to the elbow with bangles, tie on a fabulous scarf and add a touch of vanilla from the kitch...you'll smell delish!  Most importantly, smile!   It will effect your mood, tude and confidence you exude!

Air kisses and accessory wishes until the next entry...Collene
PS... I'm soooo thinking of creating a line of Tiffanee cards for my VanityGallery on Etsy!

Monday, October 30, 2017

Fabulous Pearls of Wisdom...

Yes, I believe pearls are like fashion Prozac, they effect your mood, tude' and the confidence you exude!

And they make every single outfit more fabulous!  I can't leave the house without them on, whether around my neck or wrapped around my wrist.  Since there were times (as rare as they could be), that I left the house without them, I keep a strand or two in my purse.  Some people tuck emergency chocolate in their purse; I'm all about the pearls!

I think I'm addicted to pearls!  My Name is ColleneKennedy and I'm a "Pearl'aholic"  Hello Collene!

But I mean really, can you ever have too many strands whether real or faux and I luuuuuuve both!  And because I had to find an expression for my Pearlizing', I have about a dozen or so hanging from a light fixture or two in the house... I also have quite a few strands draped and hanging from a shower curtain...They dress up any curtain rod and hanging from hooks accessorize little spots here n' there.  I guess you are getting the picture ... I love em'!

Also, never underestimate the ability for pearls to make one look very put together.  I mean really, even if you are in a sad old t-shirt or droopy sweatshirt; think of pearls as botox that can give both a lil' lift!           PS, Here's my shameless self promotion, I just listed this Pearl Prozac Vanity card   in my EtsyVanityGallery!   

Until the next Vanity Observation Air Kisses and Accessory wishes!


Monday, October 23, 2017

I accessorize therfore I am!

Oh My Fabulistas!  How many times do I say, I'll continue to add to my blog and then next thing you know, months go by and I've added nothing!  I often say I'm chasing the time to do t, but I've decided if I have time to accessorize every single day, (and that's before I run out-the-door to drive my middle-schooler' to school), then I have time to jot a few notes!  

My other challenge is thinking, "What can I write?!"  Well, I decided to let my cards do the talking!  I mean seriously, they are my lil itty-bitty "paper-thin" books filled with observations that can serve as a coping tool for Vanity things I embrace or that drive me crazy and are inspired by looking in the mirror ... or Vanity Observations drawn from others!

As for this accessory observation post, I confess I worship at the alter of accessories!  I'm never and I mean never, without my lipstick, powder and pearls and frankly, as the Mother of a teen and 9 year old, who works from home, that's just the right amount of adornment to fool people into thinking I'm pulled together!  Whether I'm sitting in the school car-line, having a meeting with a teacher or potential customer, I'm never without decoration!

Oh Dolls, it's all smoke and mirrors!  But it's from those mirrors that I come up with my Vanity Reflections that translate into my Vanity Cases cards.  The back of my cards often say, "I learn everything I know from looking in the mirror."  Lawdy, all too recently, I'm observing erosion!  Oye and ouch... but it's further reason to accessorize!   Think about it, pearls, whether understated or bubble-gum-ball size, scarves, a race-to-the-elbows with bracelets and as much as possible, a fab bag draw the eyes to the overall picture and not the details of fine-lines!

The result is 3-fold, 1, I actually believe feeling fabulous can work from the outside - in, 2, if one has time to brush their teeth, every single day, how can one not factor a couple of more moments to decorate the outside and 3, a few items of adornment will make you look and FEEL fab!

Air kisses and accessory wishes until the next time!






Saturday, April 15, 2017

Alternate facts! Indeed!


Who knew that  Kellyanne Conway's word salad would be so in-tune with the way I think when it comes to age!  As soon as I heard her use the term "Alternate Facts," a while ago, I created this cards . . . And I don't think I was surprised that it performed well!  [read: sold!]

And personally, I don't believe one should like about their age, but rather keep it confidential because really, isn't it the truth that we are simply fabulous at any age?!  Natch!

This card can be found in my VanityGallery -  Thank you for stoping by and until the next post, Air Kisses and Accessory Wishes!   Collene




Friday, March 31, 2017

Air freshener as perfume....

So, she was wondering if she could use air freshener as perfume!  
Why not? Using common "scents" in uncommon ways can be sooOOooOooo refreshing!  And really, common sense or scents is the bases of everything isn't it?  But it's the whimsy that makes it fabulous and individual... Don't you agree!   Until the next time, air kisses and accessory wishes!
This Common Scents reflection can be seen as a Birthday Card by clicking HERE



Friday, March 17, 2017

Mid section, we are not on speaking terms!

Uh huh, it's that time of year when I realize, I've got nothing to wear!  Oh I might be dressed and I might even fool you that I'm put-together with the magic of Lipstick, powder & pearls and decent hair but in working from home, I'm down to the point where I have NOTHING to wear!  When I left the "real world," and my last fabbity PR job, I luuuuved casual Friday and that's how I modeled my "at home" attire.  But dang, over the last many years, what was once my polished Friday wardrobe has evolved into worn down threads that would be fit to wear if I was going to paint a room!

So that being said, I headed out for the "hunt," to find something that would update my wardrobe uniform of skinny jeans, khakis a few over sized sweaters and boots.  (Very mindless to pull together in the morning dark when I'm getting my kiddos off to school)  Upon entering the dressing room and trying on clothes, what a shock to see that my mid-section has "fluffed" a bit over the winter! Fluffed is my term for FAT!

I HATE dressing rooms!  Why in God's name do they have fluorescent lighting!  I make it a point to not look in the full length mirror until I have my potential new item on!  Why torture myself?  I'm only going to console by stopping at the mall food-court on the way out and therein lies the catch 22!
This is the Vanity Cases card my Real Life Vanity experience inspired:  VanityGallery DressingRoom


Monday, February 27, 2017

The [staying] Power of Lipstick!

Ok, to know me is to know, I don't so much as go to the bus stop with my kids without LIPSTICK, (powder and pearls)!  It's like brushing my teeth; it's just something I do the same way someone puts on a pair of shoes every morning.  And when applied in a way that I've done for years, the color (of course red) stays on through the day and/ or meals with minimal touch ups!

Here's what I do to keep lipstick lasting a whole day...
  1. I first outline lips with a matching red pencil... I overdraw, but natch', that's optional!  
  2. I fill in - but not too heavily, with one of those lipsticks that are sold as a stain on one end and clear gloss on another end... Almost every drugstore line offers... I usually use a Cover Girl red.
  3. After letting the stain dry for a moment, I make a big smile and lightly smooth over my choice of RED long wear lipstick... Like there's any other color?!  
  4. Maybe I'll rub it down a bit ...but not always -  That's it!
  5. And the best way to get the stain off is of course with a make up remover ... or olive oil...which I also use as my face serum.  Uhm, I would take a bath in olive oil if I could!
That's it ...Because like my card says, Lipstick is like a bra for the face...It gives a lil' lift to what's already there!

Air kisses and accessory wishes until the next post!

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Us women can do a millionty things at one time!

Not only can most of us women balance doing a millionty things at one time, this women does it all always, but always with lipstick, powder and pearls!

That's right, whether cleaning the kitchen, doing [endless] loads of laundry,  creating women humor art for licensing contracts or my VanityGallery store, or trying to help my second grader with Singapore math ... for which the only math that it encourages me to do is count down to a glass of wine, it's all about the lipstick, powder n' pearls!  It's like a mirage that gives a reflection of everything being quite together ... at least on the outside!

Think of these essentials like the outside of a closed closet door; nice, looks organized and streamlined ... but once you open, it's quite possible that all will spill out... but at least as you walked by it all looked put together!

And did you know in balancing a million things, it's proven and primal that women are able to concentrate on more than one conversation at one time?!  More on this in another Fab'log entry!

In the meantime, aren't we amazing!

Until the next entry, air kisses and accessory wishes!  Collene Kennedy

Monday, January 2, 2017

Happy Vanity New Year! 2017 -- Vanity All Year Long ...


Sooo, yup, this is a real-life observation and one that will at some point work its way into one of my women humor greeting cards but in the meantime, this is what I pray for in 2017!

As it is, I clean my own house, scrub my own toilets, empty the dishwasher, do laundry, etc., etc., while balancing my art business in my home-studio while the Jellybeans are in school -- which is not long enough!

And to know me is to know I actually do all of the above complete with lipstick, powder and pearls!  That's right, whether chasing dust clouds with a Swifter or working on an art deadline for either my VanityGallery Etsy store or a licensing client, or even dropping the kids to the bus stop and/ or school in the early morn', I believe in being kind to people...therefore I wear make up and accessorize from almost the moment I wake up until I peel the essentials off!

Makes' ya' feel fabulous and fools people that one is actually pulled together!

Air kissess and accessory wishes until the next post!


Never underestimate the power of a pink feather boa!